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Alexandra Petri: Welcome to AP U.S. History! Everyone say hi to the tank and the 150 heavily armed men.

Per the president’s instructions, 150 trained ex-Marines and a tank will be sitting in with us this semester. Everyone say hi! And get cozy. There isn’t a lot of room here because we decided that, of all the possible ways we could have sought to ensure our children’s safety, this was literally the only approach we could try.

Quick update to the syllabus: We are not watching “Saving Private Ryan” because it contains movie violence, which President Trump is concerned may give us bad ideas. And, also, because it will be difficult to see on the portion of the projector screen not obscured by the tank turret.