This Week in Big Ten Basketball: January 2

I know for some of you the Big Ten race is already over. Purdue lost a game, so we’re going to lose the Big Ten, our first round NCAA game, and perhaps Mackey Arena will collapse into a black hole of complete and utter despair because Matt Painter, genius of the Notre Dame comeback, revealed he is a terrible coach. He will clearly never win the big one and can’t even get Purdue out of the first round (never mind he has done that six times in eight trips). He needs to be fired immediately, paraded down State Street naked in his shame, and we must bring in a proven coach immediately who can “get us over the hump.