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Come to Portland, LeBron. You Owe Us One.

LeBron James isn’t coming to the Trail Blazers. He’s not even going to consider playing in Portland. He only needs to make one appearance per year at Nike’s Beaverton headquarters. The Blazers don’t have cap space anyway.

(There’s no such thing as too much reverse psychology, right?)

And, really, that’s entirely appropriate, because LeBron’s been ripping out Blazers’ fans’ hearts for 15 years. In contrast to Kobe Bryant, who was generated fan vitriol mostly for being an inauthentic Hollywood fraud, LeBron has done more than enough on the court to become public enemy No.