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Who could be the new first baseman for the Pirates?

It’s November. Some people are watching the World Series, others are paying attention to football of both the pro and college varieties, and some are watching hockey (that would be me). But spring training will be here before you know it, and the Pirates are in the market for a first baseman, having DFA’d my baby Michael Chavis (who could field but not hit) and plugging in guys that could really do neither.

However, there are some free agents to choose from. Some are admittedly HA HA HA, THAT’S NOT GONNA HAPPEN, PATRICIA, but since sportswriting these days is full of rife speculation, I’m going to amuse myself.