After watching this afternoon's game for over three hours, I think perhaps the best summary I could give is to simply tell you which pitchers the Pirates used. So, here: Francisco Liriano, Cory Luebke, Arquimedes Caminero, and Rob Scahill. Now when you check the box score, you needn't be surprised that this bunch walked 11 batters, or that Cubs baserunners swarmed Wrigley Field like cicadas. And you won't be shocked that the Pirates lost, 6-0, particularly if you've been paying attention for the past couple weeks.
Liriano gave up a single and a homer on the Pirates' first two pitches of the game, but after that, everything on both sides unfolded torturously slowly.