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Pathetic Union accidentally beat MLS titan Atlanta, continuing unabashed insult to league

Sipping from the gold-plated skull of Adrian Heath, Atlanta’s manager Frank de Boer looked among his team on the training grounds after sealing the club’s 602nd trophy in only their second week of existence. He was proud of his team. As Josef Martinez, the club’s silver-haired stallion of goalscoring, kicked around the recently won Lamar Hunt trophy at practice, how could de Boer not smile? Off to his right, Don Garber held their 2018 MLS Cup and was already ordering a peasant to etch “2019 MLS Cup Champions – Atlanta United” into the golden cup.