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These Fightin' Phils jab teams to death

THEY ARE the overmatched underdogs of a bar fight. A messy, daily bar fight. You break a chair over them, they poke both fingers into your eyes. You smash a bottle over their heads, even pull out a big weapon, they spray you in the eyes with spritzer, do a little Curly dance, and the next thing you know, you've been wrapped inside a roll of tape.

The Fightin' Phils. It is a name that finally fits the team, after a generation of baseball in which they took care of opposing teams, at least during the regular season, the way Mike Tyson once took care of Trevor Berbick, Tyrell Biggs, Michael Spinks.