Every summer, the baseball season comes to a screeching halt so that we may witness a midsummer exhibition match in which the game’s greatest talents—through processes generated by the several thousand frantically spinning hamster wheels at MLB HQ—are pitted against one another to determine which league houses the greater talent.
The Phillies, a team historically void of talent and luck whilst being kicked and punched by fate, have quite often dispatched only a single member of their squad to the All-Star Game as part of the league’s “pity invite” protocol. This is a rule in place so that teams that lack popularity or skill—the Phillies quite often fall into both categories—can feel, for just an evening, that they are part of the national conversation, and fans can feel, for just an evening, that someone on their team is good.