Nola: the FIPining

Bill Streicher-USA TODAY SportsWherein I ate a Schmitter, drank a couple quarts of Yuengling, and began to hallucinate during a "play at the plate" review.

Today, Phillies fans celebrate Phat Tuesday. This is the day where a new callup from Lehigh Valley brings gifts of bacon to consume on the last day of excess permitted before a long period of lean times starts.

After Phat Tuesday comes The Starving Times, where the Phillies kill off their last things of value to survive this, our Donner Season: their last livestock, including their last draft Hamels. They eat some of their own to survive, especially the nice big ones (Howard) though he is thinned from this being lean times. Others die in…