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Joel Embiid vs. Karl-Anthony Towns: Who ya got?

Somebody get Orville Redenbacher on the line. We're gonna need a bigger bag.

The channel guide on the set-top box says that tonight's game on TNT is between the Sixers and the Timberwolves, but it was probably saying the same thing 58 years ago when a rookie named Wilt Chamberlain squared off against a fourth-year pro named Bill Russell, right?

Well, no it probably wasn't, Murphy, because digital television programming didn’t exist, and, for that matter, neither did the Sixers, and while TNT did exist, it was chiefly used in analytic circles to measure the number of megatons it would take to plunge the world into nuclear winter.