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Daryl Morey must cut his losses and send Ben Simmons home

Allow me to set the scene. It was Thursday night. I had just begun to digest a reheated sweet potato / wild rice burger I’d shared with my devoted girlfriend Gabrielle (brag), curled up on the couch next to her and our foster dog Rosco — a beguiling mix between an English Bulldog and Dalmatian whom we’re already heartbroken to not keep — as I surreptitiously snuck a peak at some first-half action between the intrepid, short-handed Sixers and the ever-annoying Toronto Raptors via the MyTeams app (Survivor occupying the TV screen, at the moment). Just then, a third of my iPhone 7 (second brag) screen was obstructed by one of the most feared push notifications known to man, woman, or Delaware-county-dwelling-child: The Athletic’s Shams Charania had a new (and somehow even worse) update on the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad, inescapable saga between Ben Simmons and the Philadelphia 76ers.