The curtains parted from the press conference stage, revealing a weathered, rustic cabin interior, with our own Head Bald Coach James Franklin laying prone, strapped securely to a thin twin bed. Helpless, Coach’s eyes communicated panic as they focused not on the web-assembled media, but on a gigantic papier mache mask in the form of the dreaded corona. It lacked eyes, mouth, or any facial components - it’s the ‘rona virus, after all - yet it presented an incredibly menacing posture, sadistically taunting Coach.
And Then The Presser Started
Opening Statement: Obviously want to start by giving Nebraska credit.