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Ottawa Loses in Spectacular Fashion against Chicago

I would like to congratulate everyone who spent their Saturday night doing something more meaningful than watching the Ottawa Senators deliver a clown college seminar on national television. I genuinely feel so bad for everyone who attended this game in person hoping to soak in the atmosphere of a packed arena for the first time in a long time. But, hey, at least we still have DJ Prosper. Now about the game—

Things go off to an inauspicious start with Parker Kelly checking Connor Murphy awkwardly into the boards, resulting a scary-looking injury. I won’t get into the semantics of whether Kelly had malicious intent or if the hit merited a game misconduct.