Who knew that the hero of the Rio Games would be a gray-haired, mustachioed Russian in his late 50s, who used his scientific brilliance not to search for a disease’s cure, but to help Russians win Olympic medals by dissolving banned performance-enhancing drugs into Chivas and vermouth?
A hero who, under the cloak of night, switched athletes’ drug-tainted urine for clean urine, so that doped athletes wouldn’t test positive.