"This dude 100% has a TEDx Talk."
After about an hour of baffled internet detectivery between myself and George (which consisted of angrily watching a commencement speech recorded by a phone recorded off an iPad and looking up incredibly embarrassing social media posts), that was the moment when everything clicked and I knew that near-universally criticized Ohio State commencement speaker Christopher Pan no longer kept any secrets from me.
That's no great accomplishment on my part, honestly: geniuses are often a foot wide and a mile deep, but weird self-help crypto enthusiast jewelry salesmen require about two-thirds of an ocular pat-down before you can go "yeah, alright, I see where this is going.