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The Age of Robot Football is Upon Us, All Hail Our New Electronic Overlords

The year is 20XX AD. Man is obsolete.

Where once uber-motivators roamed free, sending student-athletes 4 AM texts about running stairs or screaming themselves hoarse extolling the motivating virtues of Full Metal Jacket or setting up hammocks in weight rooms as a hilarious "joke" (but you know, not actually a joke), coaches like Mickey Marotti and Kerry Coombs are now confined to their domiciles because of their fleshy human bodies and its weakness to a virus.

Now... is the time of machines.

And for a football coach, what could be better? Jim Tressel once famously said and then repeatedly pleaded that "nothing good happens past 10," which is extremely incorrect, but indicative of the kind of control and observation that coaches would love to be able to exert over their players if they could.