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Ohio State Football Owns High Noon, and By "Owns" We Mean "Is Forever Cursed to Play At"

About five years ago I wrote a dumb article.

That doesn't narrow it down, but I'll be more specific. About five years ago I wrote a dumb article about how noon games kick ass for a variety of nonsensical and contradictory reasons that I won't rehash here. Long story short, it ended up being one of those things that you start to write thinking that you've got a relatively salient point to make and then like 70% of the way through you start to realize how dumb you sound, but by that point you're too invested in the concept so you say "the hell with it" and publish it anyway and hope no one reads it.