Ah, Cinco de Mayo, a holiday a lot of Americans think is Mexican Independence Day, but is used by a majority as an excuse to eat tacos and day drink.
Whatever happened to drinking breakfast and eating tacos for fuel simply because it was Tuesday and your job as an 18th-century, eight-year-old chimneysweep sucked? This didn't happen on my watch, folks.
But mark it down: The most boring friend in your circle is going to text you around 2:30 about going out "for a couple of drinks b/c it's Cinco de Mayo, man." What does that even mean, "go out for a couple of drinks"?