This columnist has gone 18-for-his-last-20—90% against the number in this here column over the last four weeks—so if the tone of this piece is overconfidence, now you know why.
I went 5-0 for the third time this year last week, and that brings my yearly total in this regard to 32-23. Overall, however, I made an epic blunder: I forgot to pick the TB/CAR game; terrible, I know, yet this has happened before and is likely to occur again.
Sorry, but now my record from last week totals an odd number, making the whole seasonal tally off-kilter. I went 8-5 last week, and am now 75-80-2 for the year…
Oakland (+9 ½) @ Cincinnati. This is a bad idea, but I’m a fan of the Silver and Black because of their general unpredictability. Numbers wise I don’t like Oakland at all—stats don’t tell the story of the season, injury reports do—so I won’t bore you with numbers and then call them all bunk; I’ll just get to the point: Oakland goes on the road and beats the Bengals. Why?—because I’m a fan and that’s what I want: Oakland 28, Cincy 20. Hope for the best Raider fans.
Houston (-3) @ Detroit. The Lions seem to always find themselves in a bad spot. Playing the Vikings and the Packers in back-to-back weeks is one thing; playing the Houston Texans after those two affairs did not go Detroit’s way is another thing entirely; moreover, it’s a short week and the Texans had to listen to their coaching staff rake them over the coals about almost losing to the Jaguars—yes, the Jaguars could’ve beat them—and I think they should’ve let them have it, just for fun. Turkey Day goes the Texans way.
Pittsburgh @ Cleveland (E). The Steelers covering last week was a gift from the gambling gods. Being on the right side of that hook was incredible, but this week the team from western Pennsylvania will lose straight up. Sorry Steeler fans, but remember your team’s history: They lost ATS to the Cleveland Browns last year both times. It doesn’t matter to me that you beat them each time on the scoreboard; that’s not the argument. You have to win with the bookies and/or sportsbooks in this column. That’s why I’m taking the Cleveland Browns. I’m not even sure why I’m doing it other than the logic stated in the words prior.
Seattle (-3) @ Miami. The Seahawks are a very dangerous team to take here, going on a crazy plane ride and then playing a team with talent, but the ‘Hawks are way better than the Fish. And that’s thanks to their head coach. The guy from college coaching this team is better than Miami’s entire staff and that ratio puts them over the top. Once again I apologize in advance if I am wrong, yet I highly doubt it.
San Francisco (-1) @ New Orleans. Ditto. Coaching wins in the NFL, and during these road games one sees that even more clearly, for you take someone out of their comfort zone and the real them comes out. Mostly that’s just common-sense, Freudian thinking and I’m losing you but, please take the 49ers in this spot. Or don’t go near the game at all.
Now to flip the script and get existential. Go for it Scott Weiland…
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