MONEY FOR NOTHING—AND THE PICKS FOR FREE—THE PINK EDITION

 

I don’t gamble—which is probably good considering I’ve gotten only eight games right over the last two weeks—but I do this for a distinct reason: Following football this way is only way I can stay interested in it without watching it incessantly, bordering on an addiction that could cause incarceration inside a straight waistcoat.

So I’ll wish for luck (even if I do not believe in luck), and hope for the best.

Full disclosure: My record against the spread stands at 22-39-2, and I’ve gone 1-4 in this column the last two weeks, so viewer discretion is advised…

Atlanta @ Washington (+3). The Redskins’ new quarterback has to win one of these home games, and why not this one? The home underdog theory that I’ve been championing may have been debunked last week (home ‘dogs went 1-4); however, this game has the looks of a trap for the Falcons. Not that ATL is in trouble or anything, but last week showed us some chinks in the armor, and this game being outdoors against a team hungry for a victory in front of their own crowd makes me take the points and await the fireworks.

Chicago (-4 ½) @ Jacksonville. Da Bears. The Windy City has a lot about which to be excited: They have the best wide receiver in the NFL playing with his favorite QB, a defense that scores points ad nauseam and the perfect manager of talent running the show as head coach. The Jaguars serve as a valid road test to prove to us whether or not the Bears can beat a team that they should honestly hammer into smithereens. All that being said, the Jags have been at better road team than a home team this season, so taking Da Bears appears to bettors as more than a mere formality; this is an obligation.

Tennessee @ Minnesota (-5 ½). This game could turn into a second-half shootout, a rushing contest or something resembling Baylor/West Virginia; I have no idea. Why am I picking this ball game, then, when I haven’t the foggiest idea? The Vikings are playing out of their minds; the Titans? Not so much. Laying this many points for a playoff-caliber team at home versus a team struggling to find their identity just sounds right, doesn’t it?

Buffalo @ San Francisco (-9 ½). The hook is the only thing that scares me, because it looks like this one has been getting a lot of play, yet rightfully so. The 49ers took it to the Jets last week in their building—obviously thanks to a necessary reaming done by their head coach after losing in Minnesota—so the best team in Cali coming home does not bode well for the Bills. By the start of the second half, you’ll know whether or not the spread will cause you to sweat or force you to celebrate, but the Niners are taking this game; that’s all I can promise.

 

Houston (-9) @ New York Jets. Pink came into play last week during Monday Night Football—and boy how I missed it. Amidst an uncompetitive football game, the Bears and the ‘Boys showed one of the world’s finest colors as part of the uniform for Breast Cancer Awareness Month, which strangely ends with the holiday of Halloween. Where was I…? That’s right the Houston Texans. This is simple folks: The Texans have covered every contest this season, which includes two double-digit spreads; this is the fourth time, furthermore, that Houston has been favored by more than a touchdown, so this won’t be close. Enjoy another Monday Night Blowout.

(Editor’s Note: The Oakland Raiders are on their bye week, so your editor has prevented the writer of this column from making some silly joke about the bye week being favored, or something of the like. Your welcome.)

 

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