Athletics Nation · Oct 31, 2015
Royal Pains In So Many Ways
It was a dark and stormy night, mostly because stories never begin with "It was a fairly well lit and partly cloudy mid-afternoon..." Suddenly, a cry rang out. "Waaaaaaah!!!!!!!!! You can't throw pitches near us!!!! We do that!!!! You don't do that!!!!! That was scary and I didn't like it!!!! Waaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!!!" Oh, Alcides. That kettle sure is the darkest shade of black I've seen yet.
OK, so the Royals' attitude, personality, and concept of manlihood clearly need some work. You don't want to see your team emulate the Royals, unless you aren't familiar with the word "emulate" and think it means "tie them up, cover them with snakes, and take your lunch break".