Athletics Nation · Apr 16, 2017
Eyeball Scout: Gauging To Keep From Gouging
Jayne Kamin-Oncea-USA TODAY SportsIt’s lucky that the eyes are among the most adaptable and resilient organs. Friday night’s game had the Eyeball Scout gouging out his left eyeball with a rusty pair of scissors, then the second half of Saturday’s game forced the Eyeball Scout to grab a nearby serrated knife and carve a "sad emoji" design into his right eyeball.
The last two games have left A’s fans with natural questions, such as: Why can’t the Eyeball Scout get new scissors and more practical silverware? It is precisely queries like this that the Eyeball Scout intends to fully ignore while discussing specific players.
Ryon Healy