*my fiancée wakes up and wanders down the hallway to the kitchen to make coffee, audibly and physically jumping at the sight of me awake and sitting on the couch so early, looking incredibly energized for a Monday morning*
Her: “OH MY GOD! You scared the shit out of me. What are you doing? Why are you up and at ‘em so early? You hate mornings.”
Me: “IT’S OFFICIALLY WEEK ZERO, BAYBEEEEEE! I am READY for college football to be back, so I figured I’d get a jump-start on the week with this energy.