Even as we speak, the Hat Caravan is heading down I-57 from Big Ten Headquarters with the Hat Courier handcuffed to the Hat Trophy in a briefcase that is also shaped like a Hat.
Let's get things out of the way: Northwestern lost the Minnesota game. It was not particularly close. At one point it was 21-2, which is the most 2019 Northwestern score possible. The Wildcats did find a spark with new quarterback Andrew "Kundun I Liked It" Marty and rallied to score several touchdowns, but P.J. Fleck's Backronyms of the Damned headed on their collision course for the Western Division Axe Championship.