NOTE: This is most definitely NOT a piece of journalism. This is a piece of fiction — fanfiction, if you will — written by my permanently dilapidated mind. If you read Inside NU for real news, this article is not for you. No identification with actual persons, places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred.
In honor of the very solid Wrestlemania 33 that wrapped up last Sunday night, Inside NU presents the Northwestern Coaches’ Royal Rumble...
In some alternate universe, Northwestern is desperate for cash to fund its massive new facilities.