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Malört Bowl Predictions

The University of Massachusetts Minutemen (1-9) and the Northwestern Wildcats (1-8, 0-7 Big Ten) are ready to make history in their first-ever matchup on the gridiron.

The worst defense in the FBS (and maybe Division One as a whole) is just about ready to clash with by far the worst Power 5 offense in the country, and our writers are here to give you their entirely serious picks.

Colin Kruse: Northwestern 39.5, UMass 0

Noah Coffman: Northwestern 40, UMass 5

The Wildcats break the magic 40-point barrier thanks to a sack record-breaking safety by Joe Gaziano late in the fourth quarter.