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Walkthrough: The Relevance Vampire

As I was saying …

Buccaneers at Saints, Sunday, 4:25 p.m.

At an early-bird special somewhere in Sarasota this summer…

DREW BREES: Tom! Thanks for inviting me over! Isn't it great that we now have the chance to meet twice per year, not just to play football, but to talk about the issues that truly matter to men of our demographic?

TOM BRADY: Absolutely. Like, what's the deal with all of these silly young people wearing masks? Don't they know that medical experts like Alex Guerrero, Gotham Chopra, and Kirk Cousins have proven that COVID-19 can be rendered harmless through the proper combination of Ashtanga yoga and acai extracts?