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OLIVER HOLT: Newcastle's Saudi ownership is a flagrant and shameless effort to launder the injustices of an oppressive nation with blood money and the tribal loyalty of English football fans

Newcastle United, like Basil Fawlty, do not want you to mention the war. That would be, specifically, the brutal war being waged in Yemen by their owners, Saudi Arabia. Nor do they wish you to mention Saudi Arabia's war on free speech. Nor Saudi Arabia's war on men and women whose sexuality offends the state.

In fact, when it comes to the wars that they do not want you to mention, you can take your pick. There are plenty to go around.

Newcastle do not want you to mention the beheadings executed by their owners, either.