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Solution to A-Rod roster issue: The Jason Giambi blueprint

Homer: Larry, there’s only one sure way to make him realize how much he loves you. And that is a phony kidnapping.

Larry Burns: Yeah, right. I don’t know. Maybe I should just leave town.

Homer (trying to tempt Larry): Phony kidnapping…
— “The Simpsons,” 1996

Substitute “them” and “they” for “him” and “he,” plus “injury” for “kidnapping,” and we’ve got ourselves a stopgap solution to the Alex Rodriguez mess.

“Phony” probably constitutes too harsh a term for what the Yankees and A-Rod need to do here. Let’s call it an injury of convenience.