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Red Bulls Paper Revue: March 28, 2022

Welcome to the Red Bulls Paper Revue presented by Once a Metro.

The best time to buy ground turkey at my local supermarket and probably yours is the week after Thanksgiving. It is unbelievably cheap because those massive unsold carcasses have to go somewhere. We are talking, like, two pounds for $5. I don’t know what you’re going to do with this information today, in March, but try to remember that for eight months from now.

Here’s this week’s top story.

Well, the Austrian Men’s National Team did it. They lost in World Cup qualifying to Wales, 2-1, unable to prevent international window Gareth Bale from grabbing his Power Morpher and yelling “Mae’n Amser Newid.