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ESPN gets more cringe-worthy by the day

“Here in the South,” writes reader Bill Hoyt, “they say, ‘I’ve been to two county fairs and a road pavin’ but I ain’t never seen nuthin’ like that!’ ”

Thus we’re blessed that ESPN, which wasn’t around in 1969, could not own exclusive TV rights to the Apollo 11 lunar landing, 50 years ago Saturday.

Alex Rodriguez would have talked over Neil Armstrong’s “one small step,” Jessica Mendoza would have appeared in a split screen to describe how to throw a fastball in near-zero gravity, and Matt Vasgersian would’ve “sent it down to Earth” for Buster Olney’s take.