I look forward to feeling a Knicks feeling I haven’t felt before

When the Knicks traded Kristaps Porzingis, my soul left my body. This is a protective measure, like evacuating a home on fire. One waits outside to see how hot and long the thing burns, then returns to pick through the ashes. While I was outside, I got a lot of texts and DMs and stuff. I bet you did, too: an equal mix of WTF DROWN ME IN A VOLCANO and you okay? and we need to pay rent.

My response to all that was “whatever.” I’m dead inside. The Knicks cannot make me feel. From outside the inferno, I took inventory and concluded there was nothing inside to burn; nothing that hadn’t already burnt. I live in an igloo of cinders, and rent’s due.

But I was back inside by the time I tried to fall…