Greetings, dearly beloved inhabitants of Planet Knick. We are gathered here today to join our collective energy and joy into a targeted hope laser. Then we’re going to aim this laser straight at Chicago, where it will shoot Adam Silver right in the ping pong balls.
That’s right, we’re going to dick punch the NBA with good vibes, in hopes that the powers of the universe will reward us. This year there will be no animal sacrifices — save your goats for free agency!
The distance from Madison Square Garden to The Chicago Hilton is 795 miles, but it can be accomplished in just three steps:
- Get on NY-495 W from W 31st St and W 33rd St
- Follow I-80 W to US-41 N/S Lake Shore Dr in Chicago
- Take the U.