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2019-20 Game Thread: The Super Cool, Rebranded Knicks vs. The Loser, 1997-Branded Wizards

“We don’t want to remind people of shooting deaths!” Boo! That’s so 1997 branding, Wizards!

Be like the Knicks! They have a marketing guru! The dude’s a freakin’ GURU! And the Bureau of Guru-ing is a really serious deal. You have to work at that licensing. You can’t just put on an expensive T-Shirt and start calling yourself a guru.

So get with the times, Wizards!

Be more like the Knicks!

But you can’t, because they’re in New York. They have blood in the ground! You don’t have that in DC!