The ritual is well-established. You cover a team, and they're playing some other team. You research the opponent and mold your write-ups around whichever themes jump out at you. Ostensibly, it's quite simple.
But trying to glean much of anything about the Puerto Rico National Team, despite the fact that they represent an official territory of the United States that's closer than the second Joy Division record, has proven to be aw-shucks-ingly difficult.
As you know, however, we're tenacious as hell over here at Hudson River Blue. We've called on all our best sleeper agents, passive doubles, and wetworkers to assemble the best available intel on the team New York City FC will face on the evening of December 11th.