A movie doesn't have to be rated R to be scary, but it should have a villain who doesn't remind you of the test-tube love child of Voldemort and a second-rate standup comic moonlighting as the host of a local dance club's Goth & Industrial Night.
As the glibly wisecracking, well-coiffed demonic sorcerer Walter Padick -- also known as the Man in Black, thanks to his self-explanatory, funereal attire -- Matthew McConaughey in the PG-13 Stephen King adaptation "The Dark Tower" is unlikely to evoke deathly shivers so much a terminal case of the giggles.
"I hope you don't mind me making myself at home," Walter says to a couple whose kitchen stove he has just commandeered, after materializing from the alternate dimension in which he lives.