Back by mild-to-zero demand, and soon to be accompanied by the dull but all-too-familiar hum of mockery, I present to you — ta-da! — my predictions for the 2024 Patriots.
Otherwise known as a transparent attempt to escape last year’s particularly pathetic Patriots prediction. A desperate attempt at a redemption that might not be entirely deserved.
Last year, I told you — with the swollen confidence of an influencer with 323,841 Instagram followers and no discernible talent — that the 2023 Patriots would chalk up 10 wins and make the playoffs.
“Amazing what wonders a competent offensive coordinator can work for a young quarterback,” I wrote, certain that the words would someday be considered prescient by the many, many scholars who have dedicated their lives to tracking sportswriters’ football predictions.