Statement from CN Director of Propaganda - Cobby

Corn Nation's helpful mascot offers his version of what today's 'statement of support' should have said.

YOLO CORN NATION! I'M BAAAACK.

I THINK I DIED AND WENT TO KANSAS. I MEAN, HOW ELSE DO YOU EXPLAIN LOSING TO ILLINOIS, NORTHWESTERN, AND PURDUE IN THE SAME SEASON? IT MAY SEEM HOPELESS AND EMBARRASSING BUT THAT'S WHERE I COME IN BITCHES! IF ANYONE KNOWS EMBARRASSING IT IS A MENTALLY UNSTABLE COB OF CORN THAT ENJOYS CONSOLING DEPRESSED CHICKS AFTER LOSING FOOTBALL GAMES. BUSINESS HAS BEEN GOOD - IF YA KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

BUT IF THERE IS A BRIGHT SIDE TO GETTIN' BOATRACED BY PURDUE IS THAT YOU CAN LOOK FORWARD TO THE INEVITABLE "STATEMENT OF SUPPORT" FROM THE ATHLETIC DIRECTOR! THIS HAS TO BE…