FAIRFAX, VA – Recently declassified CIA documents have revealed a secret I-back breeding program at the University of Nebraska.
The documents show that the program, code named OPTION LEFT, used genetic engineering technologies to produce a steady stream of babies genetically modified for super-human strength and speed. OPTION LEFT babies were incubated in a sterile underground lab known as “Area 46” accessible only through a barn located in the Sandhills of Western Nebraska. Funding for the program was laundered through the University of Nebraska College of Home Economics.
Corn Nation has verified that today all that remains is an abandoned barn on the site with a sign stating “This is totally not where mad scientists work.