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Annual Ritual: Destroying The World For Lush Green Lawns

Related Topics: Ritual

This past weekend I participated in an annual spring ritual I’m sure occurs all across America. I dumped a crapload of chemicals on my lawn in the futile attempt to make it look better. My lawn isn’t very nice because I fail at the most basic requirement of lawn care - the key being “care.” In the 25 years I’ve lived here, I have only rarely done the chemical dumping routine. I have performed minimal lawn maintenance. I mow. That’s about it.

My lawn is full of weeds. It is a horrible lawn by most standards of affluent suburbia.