STATUE OF THORFINN KARLSEFNI:
Soldiers of Nittany! None can doubt your devotion to your fallen leader. Four plantings after Joe of Pa faced every warrior's ultimate foe, you ignore other duties that some may say are a better use of your sweat and bravely stand against those who would question his heroi-oh goddammit, IT'S GOING TO BE NINETY-TWO TODAY AND I AM WEARING FUCKING CHAIN MAIL.
STATUE OF ROBERT MORRIS:
Don't you start with that shit, Thorfinn. You're not the one in long sleeves. I swear, people think having a statue made to honor you after your death is so fucking wonderful.