HOOK 'EM, YOU TALKING SPREADSHEET, YOU
If you have forgotten, let us remind you that Texas politics is a simple game. You strap a bag of snakes to your face, walk into a room full of other people with snakes strapped to their face, and then see if you can emerge as the last one standing.
This game of snakebag polka includes everything about the University of Texas, who recently upended their longtime football coach and athletic director and president in a particularly intense bout of snakebaggin'. One of these vacancies was taken by Steve Patterson, onetime president and GM of the Portland Trailblazers known for maximizing revenue and minimizing the respect of anyone who comes into contact with him.