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PLEASE MAKE THIS NOT TERRIBLE

I'M JUST ASKING TO OCCASIONALLY ENJOY A GAME PLAYED BY LARGE CHILDREN

Dear Jim Harbaugh,

First, thanks for moving on from that whole "I sort of implied I was in your house" thing. I was not, because I require food at a rate you would almost certainly notice if it were stolen from your refrigerator and you were in California at the time and that is far.

Anyway:

Today is my birthday. I am 28 years old.

And I have one simple request.

Please make college football not terrible for me on a personal level.