[SCENE: outside the closed Sears in a mall that’s seen better days]
SHOPPER #1: Boy, this place has seen better days.
SHOPPER #2: Lot fewer stores. Lot more outpatient medical offices.
SHOPPER #1: Huh, there seems to be a crowd gathered over by the old Sears. Wonder what that’s about?
SHOPPER #3 [hustling by]: This strange man is giving out gifts to everyone! He says it’s “Christmas in October”!
SHOPPER #1: Hmm. Disgraced businessman doing image repair?
SHOPPER #3: Didn’t look like a businessman. Smelled like he’d been drinking copier toner.
SHOPPER #2: [sighing] I know who this is.