HOW GEORGIA IS THIS CRIME: CHARITY CORNHOLE FIGHT

Sports are structured violence, meant to channel our basest, roughest instincts into orderly and consensual forms of competition that don’t leave the combatants maimed (in theory) or their cities pillaged (just imagine Harvey Updyke with a trebuchet).

Nowhere is this more true than in the noble, but brutal, sport of cornhole.

As always, we rely on our patent pending methodology for determining a crime’s Georgianity, the Stipe-Ping Pyramid.

Below are the questions that must be answered to determine the crime’s proper placement on the pyramid.

Was a vehicle involved?

In some sense, the human body is a vehicle, a battle mech for the anguished, unfulfilled soul. We upgrade these mechs through…