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War Machine Argues “You Can’t Rape a Pornstar” + Other Developments From His Preliminary Hearing

Being that he’s currently on trial for some 34 charges including the attempted murder and sexual assault of his former girlfriend, Christy Mack, we could pretty much close the book on former UFC/Bellator fighter War Machine undergoing a series of personal changes that completely redeemed him in our eyes. That said, recent developments in the trial of one John J. (for Jerkface) Koppenhaver have managed to somehow lower our previously un-lowerable opinion of the man.

First let’s start with the case his lawyer, Brandon Sua, put forth in Kopenhaver’s preliminary hearing on Monday, which is the most batsh*t insane defense we’ve heard since Anderson Silva’s NSAC hearing.