Pour One Out, Light a Candle, Say a Prayer: The Marlins Dinger Machine Is No More

It's life was brief, wondrous and neon bright, but the Marlins dinger machine will no longer be featured in Marlins Park.

Miami Marlins’ owner Derek Jeter has gotten his wish: The statue that sits in the outfield at Marlins Park and whirs to life whenever someone hits a home run is officially outta there, reports the Miami Herald.

Okay, wait, so let me get this straight: In Jeter’s first year of owning this team he has:

A) Traded away its biggest star, Giancarlo Stanton, to the Yankees (the Yankees!)

B) Earned the honor of finishing last in the NL East, and

C) destroyed the dinger statue, the only good thing left in Miami when it comes to baseball?

I am livid. Why would anyone even go to a…