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Diamondbacks Release Three-Minute Torture Fantasy, Wish Fans Happy Holidays

Dig a bit deeper into any of those holiday classics that you enjoyed as a kid and you’ll find a darker undercurrent belies all those happy endings and Christmas cheer. It’s a Wonderful Life documents the hallucinations of a suicidal husband and father after his languishing business appears destined for bankruptcy; A Christmas Story is about a child whose dream present is a gun; The Santa Clause is a legal morass of manslaughter, divorce and contract disputes; Jingle All the Way is a ruthless indictment of American materialism about a man whose relationship with his son hinges on the acquisition of a toy (spoiler: Arnold Schwarzenegger beats up an army of Santa Clauses and murders Sinbad’s comedy career).