Vikings Stock Market Report: Week 5

The life of a Minnesota Vikings fan. The eternal hope that the team will finally ascend to the top shelf of the league, only to be swiftly reminded that it will never happen. And all that we’re left with are questions. If Oliver doesn’t fumble, do they score on their opening drive? If Mattison catches the screen pass and scores, do they go for two and win? If the refs don’t pick up the pass interference flag, do the Vikings go on to score? If O’Connell doesn’t burn all of his timeouts before the halfway point of the fourth quarter, do the Vikings have enough time to drive the field and score? The Vikings had an opportunity to take down the defending champions on Sunday, only to be turned away, largely because of their own mistakes. This team is so frustrating! Is that why we love them so much? Have they conditioned us to feel joy through pain? I don’t know, man, this is starting to get out of hand. The Stock Market Report that is numb to everything follows.

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