Diamondbacks beat Brewers in wild 16-9 contest

Box Score

In what was surely the longest game of baseball ever played, a matchup of aces turned into a laugher quickly when neither Freddy Peralta nor Corbin Burnes, nor, it turned out, anyone else could get anybody out. This game had 21 total runs scored, 25 hits, three errors, and five walks by the time it reached the bottom of the fifth inning, a contest that meandered deep into the Arizona night.

The important thing, of course, is that no one got hurt, and both teams fulfilled that objective (despite a mysterious mid-inning exit by Joey Ortiz that may or may not have been bathroom-related and seemed to crack up his teammates).

The most important aspects of the first five innings can be…